Mondays and I have a running battle...

Today is the 3078th Monday of my life.

The difference between being courted and being stalked is the difference between Friday and Monday.

Monday is a mighty tall horse to ride.

Monday is just Darwinism with business cards.

This week's Monday is sponsored in part by a grant from the Malaise Corp. ("Conserving Energy by Lowering Expectations").

Monday is the day before the first day of the rest of my life.

Monday treats me like a child, and I don't like it. I don't! I don't! I don't!

Monday is a game of inches.

Monday has no "unsubscribe" button.

God made Mondays a mystery, like fire ants and mosquitoes.

The views of this Monday do not necessarily represent those of the management.

Monday is a cruel experiment and I am the next mouse.

Monday is a relentless, hungry, zombie clown.

Monday is the crack I have slipped through.

Monday, the Tyrant, says, "Oderint dum metuant."

Monday is forever poised between a cliché and an opportunity.

Monday is a nail that won't stay hammered down.

I am returning Monday for a full refund!

The first Monday of 2012 and I have the day off, paid. I'd say that's Me - 1, Mondays - 0.

Monday loves me conditionally.

Monday at work is being in the right place at the wrong time.

Monday is a pub with no beer.

Monday is an omnivore.

WARNING: Monday may cause anxiety, lethargy, loss of vision and direction. Do not mix with critical decisions. Payday may lessen these effects temporarily. If symptoms persist through Wednesday, please consult Friday.

A sunny spring morning is the duct tape for a Monday.

Monday is the root of all evil.

... trying to picture Monday in its underwear...

Monday is a Zumba class in army boots.

Monday's cologne smells like dry cleaning and malice.

WHEW! That was close! Thanks, Monday, for rescuing me from the brink of rest and relaxation!

Monday, you look so pale and skinny after my week at the beach! I kick sand in your face!

The panicked villagers fled, grabbing what items they could, leaving their fishing boats beached and their cooking fires dying... for Monday had AWAKENED!

Monday invades my personal space.

I tell Monday the same thing I tell my kids: if you can't be attractive, try to be useful.

Snow melting, back at work, still sick, gained 5 pounds -- Yeah, it’s the Monday after Christmas.

____________. Monday, I dare you to step across that line!

Monday is not a Monday when it snows in South Carolina!

Monday has cured me of my weekend-inspired self-importance.

Monday maybe be cruel, but it is never dishonest.

A rainy Friday in Winter still beats a sunny Monday in Spring.

Monday followed me all weekend and now it knows where I work.

Monday has bitten me off, but I am more than it can chew!

Mondays are darker with Daylight Saving Time.

Monday was not held enough as a child.

Monday requires muscles I don't possess.

While having my coffee this morning, Monday tied my shoelaces together!

Monday looks hungry, and I smell like bacon.

Monday is the measure of all things.

Monday's juju is no match for my mojo!

I'm pretty sure Adam and Eve were kicked out on a Monday.

Go ahead, bark your head off and pull at your chain Monday... I'm joggin' right past!

Monday is an acquired taste.

Monday again?! How many of these things are there??

Monday is a curse to the pessimist, a blessing to the optimist, and a blank slate for everyone in between.

This Monday’s comment has been suspended in honor of labor day. For I have nothing nasty to say about a Monday that leaves me alone.

POP QUIZ: Is Monday... A) a brutal tool of Darwinian natural selection, B) a meaningless delusion of post-modern existentialism, or C) a gracious opportunity to see if you learned anything on Sunday?

Monday is the paper bag I can't find my way out of.

Only Tuesday will know whether Monday is right.

"So, eleven hundred men went in the Weekend; 320 men come out and Monday took the rest!"

Monday ate my weekend.

Monday's teeth have been filed, its nails clipped and its roar reduced to a whimper! I have the day off!

Oil light on? Dead battery? Gas on empty? Come on, Monday, is that the best you got?!

The print of my boot will mark this Monday!

Shhhhh... it's a Monday... try not... to make... eye contact... or it might charge....

MONDAY! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Once AGAIN, Monday has violated its Restraining Order!

Monday cannot stand against the Promises of God, and a strong cup of coffee!

Monday...my weekly Thermopylae.

Monday is the pop-fly that you have to catch with your bare hands.

Monday is the bully that must be taught a lesson!

Monday is a merciless mirror. Tuesday, a foggy window.

Monday! My kung fu is strong!

Peut-être si lundi avait la sauce crème ? Mais non! Not even French cooking can make Monday more palatable!

Monday, you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well do you, punk?

Never weigh yourself on a Monday.

Monday crawls into the light where we may jump screaming onto the nearest chair, or stomp it decisively relishing the crunch beneath our boot!

Mondays make brawlers into philosophers, and philosophers into brawlers.

Monday is laughing at me, not with me.

Monday is a

blunt object.